Reality
I was lying in bed this morning, thinking about how much I want a new mattress! We went looking at some last night and now i must have one. Interestingly enough, we just bought ours less than a year ago. A sealy postrupedic… but its too firm for us and we cant sleep. A year of that will totally make you not care that you just spent a massive amount on one mattress.
Anyhoo. Thats not why i’m writing. I was lying on my back and i pulled up my shirt to see my belly. It pokes out some when i’m standing up, but its always done that. I have the curse of gaining weight in my midsection. Somewhat easy to hide, but super ugly in a bathingsuit. Well, at any weight I have been able to lay on my back and my stomach is flat (all the fat goes around back i guess). But today, the lower part of my tummy poked on out there, all proud and everything. I was SHOCKED. Like i said, I’ve only gained 1lb! But the tummy is filling out. Now, i know that my jeans get uncomfortable after a bit and i’ve resorted to not buttoning them (thank goodness its fall and sweaters hide that part). Point being…
This has honestly not seemed real to me. I know that they say theres a baby growing. I see the ultrasounds. I heard the heartbeat. But it just doesnt seem real. Not in a "cool, this is surreal" kind of way, but in a this really just doesnt seem real way. I dont know if its because i’m hesitant to get used to the idea because of the past experiences or what…
There are times when i realize just how real it is and I get very excited. I’m getting all sappy lately, thinking of my childhood and wanting my kids to have great memories like I do.
Has anyone else ever felt like this? And when will it change? When i feel it kick? I just have so many questions as to when this will all be more real than I can imagine…
it really never seems as real as the day you give birth!!! then it’s real!! just wait… your emotions will never be the same after that child. it’s crazy… just wait.
i started feeling movements around 19 weeks… get on babycenter.com and sign up for updates… it is so fun to get weekly updates to what is growing on the baby at that time!
Comment by katie — October 26, 2008 @ 1:17 pm
Oh, I will have to agree with Katie. My goodness….I knew that my life would change after having a child, but EVERYTHING changes. He is in my thoughts 90% of the time….my world nearly revolves around him….Kelly, you’ll NEVER be the same again! But you’ll be a great Mama I just know it!
Comment by miriam — October 26, 2008 @ 6:27 pm